Ask BLU Soldier
RSSGreetings Mister Blu Soldier Sir! How goes the work?
Just fine, private! We’re kicking those RED asses back and forth across the field of battle day in and day out. No one can escape the wrath of BLU!
So it's Jane..
Anonymous
I said do NOT call me that name, maggot!
Oi, Jane! It's been a while since I last saw ta likes of ye! How've ye been? Remember that one time when ye hit me on th' head wi' yer shovel, and then I shoved it up yer arse?! Och, good times, those. Anyway, can't wait 'til th' next battle. I swear to ye, I'm gonna blast ye ta bits 'fore ye even have a chance you say "Meh-gut!" (I dinnae spell tha' right, did I?) See you at Goldrush, yer arch-enemy/best friend -- Tavish Degroot.
Anonymous
Tavish? Is that really you? It’s been so lo—uh. Ahem. What I meant to say was:
SEE YOU AT 0600 SHARP, YOU SKIRT-TWIRLING CYCLOPS! I’LL CALL YOU A “MAGGOT” AND BLAST YOU TO BITS FIFTY TIMES BEFORE YOU EVEN GET A GOOD LOOK AT ME.
Your best nemesis,
Jane Doe
Is your name really Jane, dude?
That is CLASSIFIED INFORMATION, PRIVATE. YOU are not allowed to use that name for me anyway! You will refer to me as SIR or MISTER DOE, are we clear?
HEH. NOT A VERY BRIGHT SOLDIER ARE YOU? I LIKE THAT ABOUT YOU SON. I AM SPEAKING OF INTERCOURSE PRIVATE! ME AND YOU GOING COMMANDO KINKY. ONLY YOU'LL DO IT WITHOUT A WORD YOU WHORE!
WHAT
I AM HOPING THIS IS A JOKE OR I WILL BE FORCED TO SEEK YOU OUT ON THE FIELD OF BATTLE AND PERSONALLY DISEMBOWEL YOU AND WEAR YOUR LIVER AS A FESTIVE EASTER BONNET.
CAREFUL SON, I LIKE THINGS ROUGH. HELL I WOULDN'T MIND USING THE UNORTHODOX.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, PRIVATE?
MAGGOT! IF I HEAR MORE OF YOUR DAMNED YELLING, I'M GOING TO STRANGLE YOU WITH MY BARE HANDS UNTIL THE LIGHT LEAVES THOSE EYES!
EXCUSE ME?
YOU LOOK LIKE A RED.
AND IN MY INFANTRY, REDS DON’T GET OUT ALIVE, SO C’MERE, CUPCAKE, AND WE’LL SEE WHOSE LIGHTS LEAVE WHAT EYES.
Do you or anyone else play pranks around the base?
PRANKS ARE FOR CHILDREN, SO NATURALLY, THE SCOUT USED TO TRY TO PLAY PRANKS. THEN I SHOVED MY FOOT UP HIS ASS.
HE STOPPED PLAYING PRANKS PRETTY QUICKLY. ON ME, ANYWAY.
Greetings, sir. I'm a (female) Soldier in Training, and an admirer. I was wondering, if you're not busy this weekend, how an evening of barbecued ribs, beer and Greek wrestling (no rules, no clothes, no holds barred) sounds? I just got done a stint at Coldfront and could use someone to help me warm up, sir. *winkwink*
Anonymous
I’LL TAKE YOU UP ON THE RIBS AND BEER, BUT GREEK WRESTLING DOES NOT ALLOW WOMEN, AND I’M NOT ONE TO IGNORE TRADITION, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE ROLE OF GREECE IN WW2.
WHY ARE YOU WINKING? IS SOMETHING IN YOUR EYE?
How do you feel about big boobs on Communist ladies?
Anonymous
COMMUNIST BOOBS ARE ENEMY BOOBS. THOUGH I WOULDN’T BE OPPOSED TO MOTORBOATING JUST A LITTLE AS I BEAT DEMOCRACY INTO THE LITTLE LADY’S HEAD.
About Ask BLU Soldier
Shovel may assist me on occasion.
So, GET TO IT! GO, GO, GO!!
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